The Dark Sucker Theory
June 20, 2005 | Peter Baen, Senior Member, IEEE | IEEE/IAS Technical Conference
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light. But recent information has proved that actually, they suck dark! We should actually be referring to these bulbs as Dark Suckers. Herein are the arguments that will prove the theory and existence of dark suckers, and that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis for the Dark Sucker theory is that electric bulbs do indeed suck dark. As an example, consider the dark sucker in the room where you now sit. There is much less dark right next to the dark sucker than elsewhere in the room. As with all things, dark suckers don’t last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck more dark. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker.
Size does matter. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in the parking lot or a sports stadium have a much greater capacity to suck dark than those in this room. Those dark suckers have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones generally found indoors, particularly in the home.
Primitive Dark Suckers. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. Note that a new candle has a white wick. After the first use the wick turns black, representing the dark, which has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark as it flowed into the candle, and even for a short time the candle became a dark sucker.
Dark Storage Units (DSU). One of the disadvantages of the primitive dark sucker is their limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. In these, the bulbs can’t handle all of the dark themselves and must be aided by Dark Storage Units. When the dark Storage Unit is full, it must either be emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and is therefore not wise to touch an operating candle.
Dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. This is also why it is called light.
Dark is faster than light. To prove this, consider standing in a room with limited dark in front of a known dark closet. Slowly opening the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark travels at such a high rate of speed, you would not be able to see dark leaving the closet. Similarly, if you close your eyes, you’re capturing the dark that might otherwise be sucked away. But if you open your eyes very slowly, it’s the slower light you see pouring in to replace the dark as it’s sucked away.
So, the next time you see what you think are light sources, consider that they are more accurately dark suckers.